Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Golden Oldies

The UK's Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli
  1. A Member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
  2. “He had delusions of adequacy.” -Walter Kerr
  3. “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” - Winston Churchill
  4. “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow
  5. “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
  6. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.” -Moses Hadas
  7. “I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” -Mark Twain
  8. “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”-Oscar Wilde
  9. “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.”-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
  10. “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.” -Winston Churchill, in response
  11. “I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.” -Stephen Bishop
  12. “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” -John Bright
  13. “I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.” -Irvin S. Cob
  14. “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” -Samuel Johnson
  15. “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating
  16. “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” -Charles, Count Talleyrand
  17. “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”-Forrest Tucker
  18. “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain
  19. “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”-Mae West
  20. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”-Oscar Wilde
  21. “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination. -Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
  22. “He has Van Gogh's ear for music.” -Billy Wilder
  23. “I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but I'm afraid this wasn't it.” -Groucho Marx
More Humour Here

No comments: